That’s a great question!
As a celebrant, I can create and conduct ceremonies for all life celebrations, including but not limited to wedding ceremonies, naming ceremonies, funerals or memorials. Celebrants spend time getting to know their clients (often becoming lifelong friends in the process!) over a period of weeks, months or even years. They discover and are curious about their clients likes/dislikes, their story, their hopes and dreams so they can write a bespoke, unique and truly personalised ceremony for their special occasion. Celebrants can include any elements that a client desires, with no limitations. A celebrant led ceremony can take place in any location at any time.
I’m a celebrant based in York, North Yorkshire and I get asked frequently what a celebrant can do, especially by wedding and naming ceremony clients. But also by my family and friends, who do not have a clue what my job is! The questions I get asked often are ‘what is the difference between a celebrant and a registrar?’ and ‘what is the difference between a naming ceremony and a christening?’.
Today in my blog, I am going to address weddings and the difference between a celebrant and a registrar!
Celebrants in England and Wales cannot perform legally binding marriage ceremonies at present. However, this is under review as it is felt that current laws are outdated and couples should have more choice for one of the most important milestones in their lives.
Registrars and the registration service play a vital role in a marriage, ensuring that the legal aspects of a marriage are undertaken and recorded accurately and that it is legally binding. There are legal words and declarations that must take place. They also produce a marriage certificate for couples to use as an official document. Registrars offer and charge for various options from a basic legal ceremony with two witnesses (this is the most common option for people choosing to have their wedding ceremony with a celebrant), a larger marriage ceremony in the register office or they can conduct ceremonies in approved venues with the appropriate licence.
A traditional registrar led ceremony can be quite prescriptive and short with only a few options to personalise and with certain words or phrases that have to be used. A celebrant led ceremony can include any content a couple desires, with wording written just for them, weaving their love story, hopes and dreams into the script.
Registrar ceremonies cannot include any religious or ritualistic elements whereas a celebrant can. If people have beliefs or traditions from different faiths, meaning they cannot get married in their place of worship, these can be woven into their celebrant led ceremony. If they want symbolic rituals such as hand fasting, sand fasting, lighting candles, a celebrant can do this. Some people, whether religious or not, want a good old sing-song of a happy, upbeat hymn – this is a no-no with the registrars but with a celebrant you can sing any songs to your hearts content!
There are practical reasons why a couple would choose an independent celebrant over a registrar. A couple may choose a venue that is not licenced for legal marriage ceremonies but they still want a wedding ceremony as part of their day. That is where a celebrant comes in! As there are no rules or restrictions imposed on them, celebrants can perform a wedding ceremony in any location. That could be a venue that has not paid for a marriage licence but it could also be in a marquee in the back garden of your family home, on a boat out to sea, barefoot on a beach with sand between your toes, the list is endless.
Some couples may have their wedding at a licenced venue but want a unique and bespoke ceremony that reflects their personalities and beliefs. They can have a ceremony that truly reflects them, that is unique, personalised and special. Then on another day, usually before their actual wedding day, they can have their legal marriage ceremony at the local register office and mark that as a separate special occasion. Many of my couples like to have a ‘wedding week’ with their legal marriage ceremony as an intimate celebration with only close family and then their full wedding celebration with their celebrant led ceremony where all their family and friends are present.
The idea of a celebrant may also appeal as the couple can actually get to know and build a relationship with the person leading one of the most important parts of their day. For registrar or church weddings, there isn’t the same need to get to know a couple as the words can only be personalised so much, whereas a celebrant has to really get to the core of a couple so the script they write is a true reflection of them. This makes the ceremony more special and more enjoyable for both the couple and their guests.
The actual wedding day itself can be more relaxed with a celebrant. Registrars often have back to back appointments, with limited time. Late brides are a no-no for registrars whereas as a celebrant I would only book one ceremony a day so can be far more flexible. If guests are stuck in traffic, if a train was cancelled, if the bride is having make up issues, or the groom can’t get their hair right, there is less need for panic or stress.
There is also the cost of a celebrant versus a registrar. Sometimes a register office charges a hefty fee to visit approved venues so choosing a celebrant can work out cheaper or much better value for money!There are both personal and practical reasons why couples may choose a celebrant over a registrar led ceremony. I think one of the main reasons is the flexibility a celebrant can offer providing a bespoke, tailored ceremony with any content in any place, at any time. Memories of a celebrant led ceremony, if done right, should last a lifetime. Ultimately, it’s about choice and what works best for you as a couple!
Please visit my Weddings page for more details of the service I offer or give me a shout if you have questions.
Photo credit – @nicolamackrillphotography (top image) and @kieranpaulphotography (bottom image)